


till our wide eyes burn blind

by SofieChappell



Series: A Whole New World [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is emotionally constipated, Angst, Canon Divergent, Fluff, M/M, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, self-slutshaming?, we spend a lot of time in Alec’s head and it’s not a pretty place to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10739061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofieChappell/pseuds/SofieChappell
Summary: Last night Alec had a really pleasant dream. It had an exotic location and Magnus and, well, a bit of an adult content. Dreams are like that. But now it was time to wake up to the grey reality.Or was it?





	till our wide eyes burn blind

**Author's Note:**

> Follow-up to "the death of the bachelor".  
> I have no excuse for this. None at all.  
> unbeta'd  
> tumblr: sofiechappell

Alec woke up but didn’t open his eyes. He had the most pleasant of dreams, one of adventure and love, and he knew that once he opens his eyes it would be gone. He felt so comfortable. Maybe if he lied very still, he would fall asleep again and the dream would come back... Yep, that's a good plan.

But reality has already started seeping in. His left leg has fallen asleep and his right collarbone itched, so he moved to scratch it. His hand never reached the destination because... well, because it turned out he had a warlock sleeping on his shoulder.

Alec's eyes fluttered open and he took in the scene in front of him, realizing that dream was in fact more than an enchanting product of his imagination.

He actually slept with Magnus freakin' Bane after allowing himself to be swept on what could be only described as romantic getaway, and all this happened on a night before his wedding.

He was so completely overtaken by the shock that he didn't even realize  his stirring  woke Magnus up and that the man was looking up at him with a gentle yet pained expression.

"Alexander..." Alec was startled by how raspy Magnus' voice sounded. 

Alec startled, then got up swiftly, trying to focus on finding his clothes on the floor without thinking that he is hopping butt-naked in front of Magnus. Instead, he tried to do some damage control, in the only way he could think of.

"What have you done to me, warlock? What sort of bewitchment have you put on me to get this? You just don't know when to stop, do you? You think everything is yours for the taking?"

Magnus shuddered, as if hit.  **Good** . He deserved it for making this so hard for Alec, for giving him a taste of what he could never have. And it's not like he cared anyway. Alec was just another plaything to him, a warm body to find pleasure in, just like unnumbered others throughout the centuries.

Alec forced himself to think about all of those people to convince himself that Magnus didn't care about him beyond the pleasures of the flesh. 

He heard Magnus pleading to him as if the man was underwater, his voice muted by the walls Alec was trying to build around himself.

He dressed quickly and left without another word. 

It was easier this way, he convinced himself. It had to be.

 

* * *

 

The Institute was a mess. People were rushing everywhere, most of them carrying stuff precariously balanced in their arms. Flower garlands were so plentiful Alec wondered if the building can withstand all the extra weight. Well, at least this wedding made his sister happy.

He tried to sneak into his room unnoticed, but of course no such luck.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood! Where the fuck were you?"

Isabelle. Of course Isabelle would zero-in on him with deadly precision as soon as he set foot inside.

"Out."

"Out?  **You** were  _ out  _ all night, right before your wedding, without a word to anyone?"

"Look, Isabelle, I don't want to discuss this right now. I should probably start dressing up or something. Don't you have somewhere to be to make sure there isn't an inch of surface that isn't covered in flowers by some hellish mistake?"

"Don't give me that attitude, brother mine. I can see your rumpled shirt and smell your lack of morning shower and I demand explanation. Hey, don't just walk from me when I'm talking to you! Alec! Alec, stop right now! I swear to God, Alec, if you don't stop I'll--" Isabelle's threats were cut short by a door shutting right in her face. Alec knew he was going to pay for this behaviour in the future, but Isabelle was just... too much right now. Everything was too much.

He locked the door, sat on his bed and hid his head in his hands. The memories of last night, more vivid this time, flooded his mind. How could he be that stupid, that... weak? This whole situation wasn't easy at any point, but of course he had to go and complicate it more, because why not. Apparently a dinner and a chit-chat was enough for him to jump into Magnus' bed. 

What a cheap whore was he, maybe the cheapest Magnus ever had.

Humorless laugh escaped his throat. Hopefully, Isabelle gave up and wasn’t listening through the door. Alec undressed and stepped under the shower. Warm water slowly relaxed knots in his muscles and Alec's mind went blissfully blank for a moment.

Soon the intrusive memories came once again and Alec couldn’t help but wonder if Magnus just picked randomly or if he knew that Alec's parents got engaged while they were on an assignment in Barcelona. Alec had no idea how could he know or why would that matter, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Alec stepped out of the shower and carefully avoided looking in the mirror. Never before did he feel so much disgust for himself and he didn’t knew if it was more about the hook-up or the fact that said hook-up made him feel… made him want more.

It’s your hormones, he told himself. Just a chemical overreaction, that’s all. It will pass. 

As he was putting on his wedding tuxedo, he was almost fine. It was a casual one night stand. People do it all the time. It just wasn’t the best possible time or place, or person. But what had happened, happened. Magnus probably managed to forget all about it by now. Alec would become a meaningless dot in the endless sea of bodies that ever warmed Magnus Bane’s bed.

He put a lot of effort into ignoring a tiny voice in the back of his head that kept suggesting that it could be anything more than one night stand for Magnus. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t.

Not that it would matter anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus didn't even want to drink.

Which would be a good thing for literally anyone else. If Magnus didn't immediately resolve to drowning his feelings in earthly pleasures, it was BAD. 

He fucked up, big time. Magnus didn't even know what made him hate himself more: that he kept pushing Alec’s boundaries while every reasonable particle in his body was telling him not to, that he somehow made Alec feel used or that he still... longed for him. Or that he insisted that "longing" is the appropriate "l" word to describe the situation.

The wedding has probably started by now.

Fuck it.

He might not get Alec, but he sure as hell was going to get some answers.

 

* * *

 

Lydia was smiling at him supportingly as she walked down the aisle. She looked stunning, like a gentle goddess, and Alec felt inadequate. He knew what deal they made, but he still wished he could ever give her more, be more for her... She deserved so much better than this marriage of convenience.

_ You’ll be lonely all your life, and so will she. Neither of you deserve it _ . Alec shivered when Magnus' words reverberated in his head. It was so annoying when the warlock was right time and time again.

He paid just enough attention to the ceremony to react to his cues, but mostly he forced his mind to go blank, his eyes focused on a particular set of bricks in the wall far behind Lydia, at just the right height to seem as if he was maintaining eye contact.

And then the chapel's door opened with a loud thud.

 

* * *

 

Magnus stood there, looking Alec straight in the eye, seemingly confident and challenging.

He slowly realized he didn't particularly think this through past the point of crashing the wedding.

He probably should have said something, but that one time when it actually mattered, he was lost for words.

So he stared and hoped it would be enough.

 

* * *

 

 

How dare he? Would he never stop? What more did he want from Alec?

Alec had to face him. He would tell him to go to hell, to stop messing with his head and with his life. He glaced at Lydia, who seemingly understood and nodded, and walked down towards Magnus. The silence in the chapel was deafening. He worked up the courage and looked Magnus straight in the eye.

What he saw there has broken his resolve.

He intended to grab Magnus by the lapels of his ridiculous jacket and throw him out of the chapel and out of his life.

Instead he grabbed him by those lapels and kissed him like his life depended on it.

 

* * *

 

If the silence was uncanny before, it had nothing on the complete absence of sound that surrounded Alec as he pulled back from the kiss.

Magnus's eyes were still closed and lips slightly parted. Alec could feel his breath on his own face.

"Take us away, Magnus. Please." Alec didn't want to face the consequences, not now. He would much rather accept work through his feelings for Magnus than be confronted with his mother's wrath.

Magnus snapped his fingers and pulled Alec with him when the portal appeared.

 

* * *

 

Magnus was  _ oh so fucked _ .

He had no idea what exactly he expected, but somehow it was simultaneously better and worse than he thought it would be.

He was still holding Alec's hand even though the portal closed a good while ago. He looked at Alec, who was completely bewildered. The man finally jerked his hand free and walked a few steps away from Magnus.

"What have I just done?"

Magnus clenched his jaw. 

"You! You, you..." Alec was pointing at him accusingly, hopelessly trying to find any fitting accustion.

"No, Alexander, it wasn't me, it was you. It was all you." Magnus said gently, even though was reaching the threshold of his tolerance for Alec's emotional stupidity. "Everything that happened yesterday and today happened because you decided so and I would really appreciate if you would stop accusing me of bewitching you into bed. Not only was it already passé in the 16th century, but we both know it's not possible. So what's your problem?"

Alec visibly deflated. He fell down on the couch behind him and hid his face in his hands.

"I don't know. That's my problem: I feel like I no longer know anything. Those last few weeks, my whole life turned upside down, things I considered to be universal truths turned out to be lies or simplifications or…," he stopped, taking a deep breath. "And then there you are. You are the epicentre. You make me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling. You poke and prod and it infuriates me, and yet I can’t stay away. I just want everything to feel simple again."

Magnus sat besides him and put his hand on Alec's shoulder. The man leaned into the touch just slightly, almost involuntarily. 

"It's okay. I know you will want to scoff at me for sounding like a motivational poster, but it's okay to not know, to feel lost, to have questions but not finding any answers. It's how we grow. Believe me, I speak from experience: the answers will come in time, at one point everything will click into place and your world will feel perfectly whole and complete, until you stumble into something that will shatter it anew. That's just how life is."

"I just... I never had to deal with this, you know? I always lived by the rules made by others, following orders and fulfilling expectations. If anything in me didn't fit the mould I just denied it was there, but I can't do it anymore. I'm tired and I don't want to be a poster boy who can barely fall asleep because his inner demons come out in the quiet of the night."

Alec looked at him and the honesty and the pain in his eyes made Magnus heart hurt. He didn't know what more could he say so he just gently cupped Alec jaw and hoped Alec would understand how he felt.

They sat like that for a while. "Where are we actually? That doesn't look like your apartment," asked Alec, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, it is my apartment, just the one in Rome. You sounded like you wanted to escape and my Brooklyn apartment would be one of the first places they would check."

" _Oh._ "

 

* * *

 

 

Alec still couldn't wrap his head around the fact how easy it was for Magnus to just travel around the world. Of course, he was familiar with portalling and, you know, basic geography, but it was only in the last twenty four hours when the realization of the actual vastness of world actually hit him.

"We can go back if you want."

"No, no, it's fine."

Alec got up and dared to glance outside the window. The view was astounding. Half of it was a huge park, filled with people walking and children playing. The other half was occupied by the Colosseum. Alec gasped loudly. He saw picture of it, yes, but it was... right there. He thought it was probably the oldest thing he saw in his life. Unchanging, unyielding, quietly withstanding all those storms of many millenia.

"I take it you like the good ol' Colosseo."

Alec had no right to ask for this. No right at all.

"Do you think we could... go see some things? Since we are already here and... I understand if you don't want to, of course, I could go by myself..."

Magnus laughed. "And make myself some more mess to clean up when you inevitably get lost and I will have to extract you from Di Trevi at four in the morning, with no recollection of how you got there? Your talent for getting in trouble is barely manageable when I'm keeping my eye on you, darling." Magnus smiled and then looked him up and down. Alec swallowed hard. "You may want to change through, a tuxedo is not a very tourist-y outfit, darling."

"I don't have anything else with me, Magnus. I didn't exactly plan this trip three months in advance."

"I know. If you had let me finish I'd have offered to lend you something from my own wardrobe."

_ Oh. _

Magnus told him where to find his bedroom and poured himself a glass of wine to, quote, "entertain myself with while you get all pretty."

And  now Alec was in Magnus' bedroom and he should be concentrating on finding the least flashy thing Magnus owned, but his eyes and his thoughts kept turning to the lascivious bed that stood in the central point of the room. It looked nothing like the one in New York, but it was definitely just as comfortable. Magnus had a taste for the best that life could offer.

Why he wanted you is a complete mystery then, his mind supplied unhelpfully. Alec shuddered and ignored the bed for the rest of the time he spent looking for some other clothes.

He managed to find a pair of black jeans that more or less fit him, if maybe being too tight here and there for his taste. The shirt was also black, but with a subtle shimmering pattern woven through. It felt unbelievably soft against his skin. He borrowed some simple black shoes as well. He rolled his sleeves and assessed the look critically in the full length mirror. He looked a little alien to himself, but given Magnus' usual presentation it could have been a lot worse. Not everyone can pull off a look straight from a fashion show.

 

* * *

 

Magnus heart stopped when Alec walked in.  It always did, yes, but this... this was more than he was ever prepared handle. Not only Alec looked amazing, he was wearing Magnus' clothes and well, maybe Magnus should have expected that it was an inevitable consequence of lending his clothes, thank you very much, but nonetheless he couldn't expect what it would do to the most possessive part of his nature. And it did  _ a lot _ . 

Alec was also bigger than him and the clothes were a little stretched in all the right places. That didn’t help. At. All.

He had had all those centuries to practice self-control and this sight almost broke him.

Alec was in his apartment, wearing his clothes, spending time with him… Alec, who was beautiful and handsome, hot and adorable, funny and intense.

Magnus’s got it bad, big time.

 

* * *

 

Alec was starting to feel uncomfortable under Magnus’ intense gaze. He hoped he didn’t broke some important rule of fashion that he had no idea existed or anything like that and that Magnus was just lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly the man started blinking rapidly and quickly got up.

“So, sightseeing, yes? We will see some sights… There are so many sights and we will see some of them. Let’s go!”

Magnus was babbling. Flawless and smooth Magnus _ I-slept-with-Michelangelo _ Bane was babbling.

Why?

 

* * *

 

 

They started by taking a walk to the Colosseum. The queue to the entrance was enormous and while Magnus offered to portal them straight inside, Alec refused. He was content just walking by this ancient site. 

There was so many mundanes around, just going about their day, enjoying the warm afternoon, not a clue about the downworld and the dangers that came from it. He used to look down on them, on their ignorance, but lately he started to envy them. They had the freedom to just be who they are, to do what they want, to be selfish sometimes. The concept of putting yourself first was still alien to Alec, but lately he learned the pleasure that come from choosing what you want.

He tried really hard not to think about the consequences and instead turned to listening to Magnus talking about what the city has to offer.

 

* * *

 

They were were having a really nice dinner in a lovely restaurant near Mercati di Traiano when Alec realized what it was that was low key bothering him.

“Magnus, could Jace… or anyone… you know, locate us?” 

Magnus took a sip of his red wine and smiled reassuringly.

“Worry not, dearest. I put wards on us that prevent anyone from tracking us… I assumed you didn’t want to be found. So we’re safe to stay here as long as you want. As long as you need.”

“Oh…” Always one step ahead. Always taking care of him. Magnus was simply too perfect. “I mean… thank you.”

Magnus simply smiled  and went back to his fettucine.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec had no idea what possessed him. The day was longer than he would care to admit: the wedding, the escape, then later all those hours of sightseeing in Rome should have completely wear him out.

And yet, when Magnus asked what he want to do next, he asked if they could go dancing. So now they were at “the best downworlder club in Rome, probably Europe,” as Magnus described it. Somehow, they skipped the queue and were let in without a question asked. Alec decided he should stop questioning how Magnus always seemed to make things he wanted to happen actually happen.

The world was pleasantly fuzzy from the wine he had throughout the day and the shots they took right after entering the club, and the atmosphere inside was electric, so when Magnus said he wanted to greet some local warlock that was apparently here as well, Alec decided to let him go alone while he decided to hit the dancefloor.

The beat was entrancing and the bodies crowding him were moving in a hypnotizing, sensual rhythm.

For a fleeing moment Alec thought how his mother would react if she knew that, after running from the altar with a warlock by his side, he was drunk and partying in a downworlders’ club halfway across the world.

But soon any thoughts were wiped from his mind as he danced with half-closed eyes and no sense of time.

Suddenly, warm hands were on his hips, slowly turning him around. Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus Bane in front of him. He dropped the glamour from his eyes and was moving with the music. He always moved with unbelievable grace and fluidity, but Magnus dancing was whole other thing. He looked unbelievably enticing.

Alec put one of his hands on Magnus’ chest and smiled. 

Nothing mattered but their bodies moving in sync with the beat.

 

* * *

 

They portalled back to Magnus’ apartament some time later. Alec had no idea how much time has passed. The night was a blur of shimmering cocktails and dancing.

He never felt so gloriously tired.

Alec had no idea if he was disappointed or not when Magnus told him how to find a guest bedroom before disappearing behind the door of his room. He was too tired to try to sort it all out, so he stripped clumsily to his boxers and went to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The drag of the cold silk against his skin sent a wave of pleasure through Alec’s body. It provided much needed relief from the warm air around him.

The bed was soft and comfortable and Alec wished he could slip back into his dreams, but the sun was shining brightly through the windows and hitting his face, forcing his brain to wake up.

Wait.

The windows of his room at the Institute face north. And he definitely never bought silk sheets. Alec opened his eyes, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings.

Everything caught up with him after a moment.

Rome, right.  _ That  _ happened.

Alec got out of bed and picked up the clothes he discarded on his way to bed last night. He set on exploring the room. He hoped he wasn’t overstepping the hospitality. But Magnus called it a guest bedroom, he thought, so it’s probably ok. 

He was extremely happy when he found the bedroom had an ensuite bathroom and even happier when he found a brand new toothbrush in one of the cabinets, as well as a choice of small toiletries. He picked a soap that smelled like tangerine and rosemary.

Alec felt like a new man when he stepped out of the shower. It lasted only until he realized that he doesn’t actually have anything fresh to put on. With a sigh he pulled Magnus’ pants back on and with a towel thrown over his shoulders to give himself a shred of decency, he left his room. 

Magnus was sitting on the balcony. He was shirtless, loose blue silk pyjama bottoms hanging low on his hips as he drank his morning coffee and basked in the sun.

“Good morning.”

Magnus turned to him, a warm smile curling his lips when he saw Alec. “Hello, Alexander. Want some coffee?”

“I’d love some, later, but I was kinda wondering if I could maybe borrow another shirt first?” he said, all in one breath. 

Magnus chuckled.

“Of course, Alec. You know the way.”

“Thank you.”

Few moments later, Alec examined himself in the mirror. He went for a dark purple shirt this time, feeling weirdly bold. It wasn’t something he would choose for himself before, but he sort of liked how it accentuated his dark features. His hair was still a little damp, but not damp enough to mess the shirt up, he hoped.

It will have to do. He should probably ask Magnus if they could go shopping.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus busied himself with preparing breakfast, simple pancakes with fresh strawberries. He prepared himself for seeing Alec wearing more of his clothing.

It’s nothing, he argued, just a ridiculous amount of thread woven together and sewn into a sort-of-human shape. 

His eyes darted up when he heard Alec entering the kitchen. The purple of the shirt definitely didn’t make him even hotter than before. It didn’t make Magnus want to leave more permanent purple marks on Alec’s skin for the world to see.

Magnus was  _ fine _ . Everything was  _ fine _ .

“Oh, those smell delicious!”

_ You smell delicious,  _ Magnus mind supplied immediately. He scoffed at himself internally. He is an ancient warlock, he should be above this...

“I’m so hungry, you are a lifesaver, Magnus!”

Magnus is a very grown man and he can make breakfast for himself and an unfairly handsome man who is wearing his clothes.

It’s fine.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec was a tireless tourist apparently. He got so adorably excited about visiting remnants of ancient civilizations that Magnus just wanted to spend the rest of eternity taking him all around the world simply to watch his face light up at the sight of old temples. Magnus was in Rome several times before, but he strongly suspected that never before did he visit so many museums and monuments.

It was late evening when they finally arrived at the Di Trevi fountain. The place around it was crowded with tourists but they managed to work their way to the fountain.

“It’s said that if you want to come back to Rome, you should toss a coin into this fountain,” said Magnus, materializing two coins into his hand. “So, did the eternal city manage to enchant you, Alexander?”

Alec smiled. “Yes, yes, it did.” 

He took one of the coins from Magnus’ hand and Magnus shivered at the touch of Alec’s fingertips.

 

* * *

 

They decided to walk back to Magnus’ apartment.

Magnus entertained him with a story of an unbelievable heist he apparently pulled in Rome during the 18th century and was bitter that apparently it didn’t go down in history. Alec had a suspicion it wasn’t particularly true, but Magnus voice was smooth and his storytelling vivid and funny, so he let him chatter away.

In the apartment, Alec sat on the couch, arms outstretched and serene expression on his face.

“I’m so tired but at the same time I’m not sleepy at all. It’s weird,” he said.

“Would you like some wine to finish this day with?” offered Magnus. Alec accepted and Magnus poured two glasses of Chianti before settling in on the couch next to Alec. He passed him one of the glasses.

They sat like that in a comfortable silence for a while, sipping wine and coming down from a day full of experiences.

But Magnus knew they should talk. They have been solemnly ignoring what has happened between them two nights ago and then at the wedding, but this can’t go on forever.

Magnus turned to face Alec.

“Alexa-”, but before he could continue, Alec’s lips were on his and all rational thought left his mind. Alec’s kisses were still sloppy, clearly showing his lack of experience, but there was something raw and honest in them that made Magnus’ toes curl. He distantly heard a sound of glass being put down and then felt that his glass was plucked out of his hands. It gave him freedom to explore Alec’s perfect chest. Alec instead focused on slowly tracing complicated patterns onto the skin on Magnus’ neck which made him shiver from this delicate caress.

Alec pushed him softly and Magnus obliged. He laid back on the couch, Alec on him, his warmth encompassing him, cutting off the rest of the world.

Alec’s licked Magnus’ lower lip and the warlock almost automatically parted his lips to allow Alec’s warm tongue in. It was all the invitation that Alec needed. It was heady and perfect and so unbelievably hot. Magnus didn’t want it to ever stop.

Alec moved his mouth to Magnus’ neck, pressing kiss after kiss while his hands started working on the buttons on Magnus’ shirt.

Magnus wanted to just give up, to go with the flow and not care about anything else in the world. But he couldn’t. This would feel amazing for a while but the mess afterwards wasn’t worth it.

“Alec… Alec, stop,” he protested. Admittedly, it was quite a weak protest, but Alec reacted immediately. He pulled away and looked at Magnus with uncertainty. “Alec, we need to talk.”

“Okay.”, Alec agreed and sat back. He looked somewhat scared.

Magnus also sat up, straightening his shirt. Oh, where should he start…

“Alexander, as much as I’d like to...” he paused, that didn’t feel like the right thing to say. “I know that what you’re going through, it’s not easy. I know you feel lost and confused, you told me so yourself. I gave you space, I offered distractions and an escape and I wouldn’t like to push you too much, but you have to understand… You aren’t the only one who feels vulnerable here. What happened, happened, and I don’t regret it one bit, but I can’t… I don’t want for it to continue like this. We need to be on the same page and you need to communicate with me, Alexander. So let me ask bluntly: what do you want from me?”

Alec didn’t look up from his fidgeting hands. “I want you,” he whispered. “And as much as I try to make myself feel otherwise, you are the only thing in my life that feels right now. I don’t know what  _ you  _ see in me or why would  _ you  _ want  _ me _ , but I’m willing to give it… you… a chance, for as long as you would have me.”

“Oh, Alexander…” Magnus reached and softly tipped Alec’s head up by the chin. “Why would you say that?” 

Alec looked aside.

“You… you really don’t see it? Oh, Alexander, but you are magnificent. You are so strong, so smart, and so fiercely loyal. You are so good, Alec, right at heart. You sacrifice yourself for the ones you love without a second thought. You are the force of nature, Alec. So all that and, well... you have an amazing ass.”

Alec huffed an embarrassed little laugh. Magnus carded his fingers through Alec’s hair.

“I… no one…,” mumbled Alec, hiding his face some more.

The sudden realization hit Magnus like a lightning. Somehow, this magnificent man was never made aware of exactly how amazing and breathtaking he was. No, more than that: he was lead to believe he wasn’t enough, that he never would be enough. Magnus felt a rage building up inside him and he had to use all of his self-control not to unleash hell on anyone who ever made Alec think he wasn’t worth the world.

Instead, he pressed soft kisses to Alex's forehead, whispering praises in-between. Magnus kept his hands on Alec's shoulders and he could feel the man shaking. He went lower, kissing the down the bridge of Alex's nose and then onto the right cheek, where he was welcomed by the salty wetness. Magnus pulled back.

“Alexander, what’s wrong?”

Alec looked away. “Why… why do you do this?”

“Why do I do what?”

“Treat me like this, say all those things… Why? Why me?”

“Because I care about you, Alec. I care about you deeply and I’m trying to show it to you. You keep accusing me of only playing with you, but believe me…” Magnus paused, waiting for Alec to look him in the eye. “Believe me, I don’t. You… there’s something about you that makes me feel things I didn’t think I would ever feel again. You say that you are inexplicably drawn to me, but so I am drawn to you. I just can’t stay away. Whatever it is that what is happening between us… I want to give it a chance, if you want to as well.”

“I would like that.”

Magnus kissed Alec, gently, chastely, trying to convey all of what he was afraid to say out loud just yet.

They moved so that they laid cuddling, taking comfort in each other’s presence, trading lazy kisses while Alec was slowly calming down.

Magnus would be completely happy to let the evening finish just like that. Hell, he wished nothing more than to spend all of the evenings like that. But Alec had quite different plan in mind, because as he grew calmer, he also got bolder, slowly increasing the intensity of the kisses and caresses. 

Alec pulled away, with eyes half-closed and lips reddened from kissing he looked completely irresistible.

“Could we…?” Magnus cocked an eyebrow, pretending he didn’t have a clue what Alec is asking for. “Could we… I- I want…” Alec bit his lip and Magnus was just about to take mercy on him. “Please, take me to your bed.”

Oh, Magnus was so happy he waited. Hearing Alec saying what he wanted sent a wave of exquisite heat through his body.

“Of course, dearest.” After one last kiss Magnus stood up and outstretched his hand to Alec. “Come with me.”

Alec took his hand and followed Magnus.

 

* * *

 

Alec laid on the bed and Magnus slowly crawled on top of him. They were still fully clothed, except for shoes and socks. The silks were as soft as Alec imagined them two days ago, and offered a soothing coldness to contrast overwhelming combined warmth of a Roman night and Magnus’ warm body on his.

Magnus kissed him, softly, tenderly. “What do you want, my sweetest?” he whispered against Alec’s lips.

“Make love to me. Make me yours,” the words left Alec’s mouth before he managed to think about them and could attempt to filter himself, but Magnus didn’t seem to mind his desperation. More, his breath hitched and his eyes widened. 

They kissed again, slowly building the tension. Magnus fingers undid Alec’s shirt and were now exploring his chest, sending wave after wave of heat through Alec’s body.

Alec put his hands in Magnus’ hair, slowly massaging his scalp and messing up his usually flawless coiffure beautifully. When he pulled back to take his own shirt, Magnus looked positively sinful. 

He travelled down Alec’s chest, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses as he went down. He stopped for a while to tease Alec’s nipples. He got the right one nice and wet first and then, with a little devilish grin plastered on his perfect face, he blew a little stream of air at it. The moan that escaped Alec’s throat as a result was primal and needy and it got even more broken when Magnus put it back into his mouth, the change of temperature absolutely delicious.

Magnus repeated the process with the other nipple before travelling further down, trailing kisses down Alec’s stomach; his hands were caressing Alec’s thighs, promising. He reached the hem of Alec’s pants and pressed one last kiss right there, before moving to open the fly.

The gut-wrenching groan escaped Magnus when he realized Alec wasn’t wearing anything underneath. The man blushed hard when he realized what got this reaction out of Magnus. However, before he could offer an apology or an excuse, Magnus rushed to press an open-mouth kiss to the skin that the opened button bared and whatever words started forming in his mouth they were replaced by a breathy moan.

Magnus opened the rest of the fly and pulled them down just enough to free Alec’s already hard cock. Keeping his eyes on Alec’s flushed face, he took the tip into his mouth and circled his tongue on the sensitive flesh.

He put his hands on Alec’s hips, sending a small wave of magic through Alec’s body, just enough to add an edge of desperation to Alec’s desire, to help him forget he was about to have another man’s dick in his ass for the first time.

Alec’s back arched and it was only thanks to an honestly indecent amount of experience that made it possible for Magnus not to start choking.

He sucked Alec’s cock for yet another moment, before moving back up, to kiss those perfect lips that were now parted and loose. In the meantime he willed his fingers to slick up with lube. He moved so that his fingers were hovering right over Alec’s hole.

“Are you sure you want this?” Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips.

“Yes, yes, please, Magnus.”

Magnus put his finger on the circle of muscles that guarded the entrance. He wanted Alec to get used to the sensation before he moved on.

“I’ll make you feel so good, my sunshine, you have no idea.” He pushed oh so slightly, just a hint of the intention showing. Alec gave up to him without fight.

Alec’s eyes were shut and his breathing was heavy. His fingers were almost bruising Magnus’ shoulders.

Magnus let another finger join the first and captured the resulting Alec’s moan with his mouth. When his fingers were sliding comfortably in and out, Magnus crooked them just so.

Magnus was almost sure Alec’s cry of pleasure was heard by at least half of Rome. Magnus started thinking if Alec actually done this to himself before, because on the one hand he seemed quite unusually comfortable with having Magnus’ fingers explore his ass, more than most men usually are during their debut, but then the reactions suggested it was all new.

That would have to be a deliberation for another day, because Magnus was sliding the third finger in and it made Alec finally open his eyes. The look he gave Magnus almost shattered the old warlock then and there. 

“Magnus, please, fuck me, I’m ready, Ma-agnus,” Alec pleaded, voice more hoarse than ever before.

And who was Magnus to refuse him?

Magnus slicked his cock with lube and lined it with Alec ass.

“You’re so good to me, babe,” he mumbled as he slowly pushed into Alec’s tight heat. “Oh, you feel amazing around me, like you were made to be fucked by me.” 

Alec groaned.

“Yes, you were. Your perfect little hole was made to be fucked. Just like that,” Magnus said breathlessly as he finally buried himself in Alec to the hilt.

He gave Alec a moment to adjust and get used to it before he moved gently out.

“Oh yes, Magnus, please,fuck, it’s perfect.”

It was all Magnus needed to know. He moved, slowly picking up the pace and making Alec moan and groan desperately under him.

It was better than he could ever imagine.

Alec suddenly moved so that his legs were now hitched up and circling Magnus’ hips, giving him even better access.

Fuck, this boy was going to be the death of him.

Magnus moved even faster, as per Alec’s breathy pleas, and he could feel the upcoming orgasm. Alec looked equally gone, if not more.

First spasms of Alec’s orgasm threw him over the edge. His vision went white and the only thing he could for sure say existed was the warm body writhing beneath him.

 

* * *

 

They laid there, spent and sated, Alec cuddled into Magnus’ chest. The warlock was absentmindedly stroking the man’s hair. Alec’s breathing was soft and regular and he looked completely relaxed and at peace.

He was asleep and for sure wouldn’t hear what Magnus was so afraid to say out loud. 

The huge moon shining through the blinds would be the only witness.

“I love you.” 

It was easier after the first time so he whispered it again and again and again. Magnus fell asleep with a barely audible _ I love you _ on his lips.


End file.
